//Memoirs of the Chronically Misfortunate\\

Ever since the unlucky day of December 9th in the year of my birth, I have been cursed with the comically tragic life of a romantic comedy heroine. Problem is, I lack all of the charm, all of the quips, and any of the serendipitous closures that said movies have after about an hour and a half of your time.

I hope you enjoy the Truman Show-esque events of my life that the best writers in Hollywood couldn't have even conjured up on their best day. So please sit back, relax, and enjoy a good laugh on behalf of yours truly. I've learned that the best way to handle chronic misfortune is to just laugh it off. Cheers!

TL;DR - Since you're here, why don't you stay a while. I always enjoy new company, unless you're a cunt.

Fan of: lots of shit, so stop patronizing me.
There Are Only Stupid Questions   Submit To Me.. Preferably On Your Knees